the recycle bin

thought 73: i've been taking a lot of naps lately, i have a lot of ideas floating in my head for things i would like to make and i find myself thinking about them before i fall asleep. i think it is soothing in a way.

thought 72: i haven't done any updates in a week or so, i'm easily distracted so time slips by fast, but i'm gonna be working on some things for the next few days so i can add to the site.

thought 71: i had a dream where i heard a song that i never have heard before, it's bothering me because it seems familiar somehow yet i can't remember it. maybe it is something i've heard and forgotten, or maybe it's a song my brain just formulated for that dream, either way it is very strange.

thought 70: while i like using storkvomit for urls and other digital things, i feel odd putting it on things like zines and printable projects so i decided on a newer and odder pen name: stork lidrus linpun. it has a strange literary feel and thus seems more appropriate as a "full name." this change is reflected on the index page now, and from now on projects of mine will carry this name. ah, the power of three names in one.

thought 69: i've been feeling more inspired as of late, i'm thinking of making an activity zine or perhaps another tabletop game.

thought 68: i don't understand why people would be buying such large quantities of toilet paper. maybe it's some kind of conundrum where they feel forced to buy more toilet paper so that they have a chance to buy some now in order to resist those that are hoarding it for whatever reasons. as a result of their buying to counteract the hoarders' buying, they themselves are becoming like the hoarders in how they end up compelling even more people to buy even more toilet paper because of the additional toilet paper that they are taking off the shelves. it's like a continous cycle of fear, but instead of it occuring because of something like food it is happening with toilet paper for whatever reason. humanity is strange. also while on this topic of what people are buying in the midst of the covid-19 pandemic, i hope that all readers are doing alright and taking proper precautions.

thought 67: i had a weird dream where i kept drawing weird comics in an exam booklet, where half the pages were dedicated to answers while the other half were just these comics. among those comics were a really funny but badly written and badly drawn bl comic where the characters are in love for no reason, the felony bunch (a comic where a bunch of characters that comitted felonies are just constantly in a brady bunch style grid and talking to each other through that) and then there was a really well drawn nature comic involving a princess that i drew in the dream. i think there were more comics that i drew in the dream but i can't remember all of them. i don't think i've ever had a dream where i just drew comics and then made people read them, what was that about.

thought 66: the last thought is probably the longest i've written for the recycle bin yet. wow, where does this come from? probably electromagnetic waves from extraterrestrials, that's why i'm nebula-minded.

thought 65: i've started to think about writer's block and how i can't relate to that phenomenon because i can put a whole lot of words on a page that mean nothing about nothing at any time. it isn't actually a good thing though, just the result of being nebula-minded while trapped on the material plane, or what neurologists call "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder primarily inattentive." it used to mean that i would keep myself up and awake as a child...thinking about irrelevant and sometimes comical things. i'm not sure what kind of advice i would give those with writer's block other than to keep absorbing influences around them to synthesize new ideas. also, i would tell them to think about their situation because it could very well be caused by something other than a lack of ideas.

for example, when i tend to have difficulty writing it is because i haven't thought out the focus of what i wanted to write about so well before i started writing. so, i end up hitting a point where i think to myself, "it may be good to stop here to prevent complete derailment" and i think further about what i wanted the key points and ideas to be for the piece. my thoughts on the phenomenon of writer's block is that i don't believe that people just "run out of ideas" and instead i think other factors are involved in writer's block. i think writers can get burnt out and tired from the pressure of constantly having to "release" something or they might have been conditioned to see writing in a more rigid way and hold themselves back because they might think they can't write unless they do so in a highly structured way with certain types of outlining or etc.

i kind of take issue with how writer's block is characterized as a lack of creativity, because i don't see creativity as something people can "have" to begin with. creativity isn't something to possess, rather it's something that has its own whims although you can cultivate it. it can be sudden, fleeting, constant or anything really. i just think that we can limit creativity down to only certain types of creativity and thus eliminate a lot of it without really realizing because we see it so narrowly. people who might not see themselves as "creative" also limit themselves this way because they impose unnecessary rules upon themselves much like those with writer's block.

thought 64: i don't really have any major mystical or spiritual beliefs, but i like learning about the ones that others hold. i think there is a lot to be shown about cultures through how they explain aspects of life that are currently unexplained and or difficult to explain.

thought 63: i've read a bit about numerology recently, i think the concept of numbers being using to predict or even shape the future is interesting. it made me think that i wouldn't be surprised if many who believe in things like simulation theory do so, because they see our world as being determined by numbers and their combinations, much like how we construct virtual worlds through the mathematics of programming languages.

thought 62: today i took a nap for longer than anticipated and i experienced an odd dream. i was at a swap meet, buying a few books from a man's stall when suddenly he added a coat along with the books and told me the total would come up to 90 dollars. i became confused and infuriated after repeatedly telling him i don't want a coat, only for him to not respond and keep the transaction going as if i said nothing. in the end i guess i angrily handed over the 90 dollars to get the books i wanted, then i talked to the other sellers at the swap meet who wanted to help me get my money back and i woke up when i was about to go back to the man's stall with a few other sellers. i wondered what this dream could mean, and apparently dreaming of a swap meet can symbolize that you are undervaluing yourself in some way, and it reminded me of how i undervalue my writing and other creations. it isn't that i hate the things i make, or see them as bad, but perhaps i don't really appreciate my ability to do what i do. in my daily life, i almost never tell others that i write and create netart among other things even though i spend a lot of time doing so. i think i do so because i see my internet self as a seperate part of me, that doesn't really have to do wih how i live in the everyday parts of the material world. after all, when standing in line at a grocery store, does it really matter if i'm stork or not?

thought 61: good news, i'm starting to feel better because i can actually breathe out of my nostrils even though both are still a bit congested.

thought 60: cherry-flavored cough drops are so good...but having a scratchy throat isn't so good, luckily mine has mostly gone away since earlier.

thought 59: today i was gonna work on my article and a new generator for the site, but i have sinus congestion again and it's making my head hurt a bit. sorry for the lack of major updates lately everybody.

thought 58: i'm likely going to just finish my article about the game boy color tomorrow, i felt kinda tired today but i'm glad to be back home now.

thought 57: i went on a weekend trip and found a store where i got a couple of game boy cartridges, which was nice.

thought 56: i've gone without posting for nearly a week, it feels strange.

thought 55: i had a dream where i deleted this website and it made me feel quite sad when i woke up. i'm never deleting!

thought 54: i found a practically pristine game boy color on ebay for a decent price, so expect an article about the game boy color experience in the future along with some game boy reviews.

thought 53: challenge idea: is it possible to beat sonic adventure with only big the cat? can his sheer determination to find froggy lead him through all the levels in the game? maybe if i can swap him in for all the characters i'll know.

thought 52: this last week was fairly busy, so i'm hoping i'll have more time this week to make things/write.

thought 51: i had an ideas document on my computer that i forgot about and i saw "add an html5 chalkboard to the site" on the list. neat idea past self. expect me to try and figure that out by next week.

thought 50: lately i haven't had much time to work on any larger updates, but i'm still around and writing at a snail's pace.

thought 49: sometimes i get online and realize how strange it is that i'm a being who can get "online" in the first place. the invented life of humanity.

thought 48: i was thinking of making some "prospectin' for gold" articles where i just try out things like going on or trying to do weird challenge runs in games, and writing about the results.

thought 47: the shiny pokemon shrine is the first page i've created where all images were base64 encoded. i think it might be an alright solution for pages with a few isolated images that i don't plan to use on other pages, so i don't have to upload them here then also have to reference them in the html or css. apparently the encoded images' filesizes end up a bit larger than the originals though...

thought 46: i've been hunting for shiny pokemon with no real luck. i got two shiny magikarps from that event where they were more likely to occur in raid dens, but things have been dry ever since. woe is stork. however, if i become luckier, i might make a shiny pokemon page.

thought 45: to commemorate the locust's visitation of my home, i have made BIG BUG free much like the locust was after i released them. honestly, it was more like i just decided on a pay what you want model, who cares what my past self thought.

thought 44: recently, there was a locust in my home. i don't know how he got there, but i let him outside so he could be free. i'd never seen a grasshopper so large before around here, so it surprised me.

thought 43: i think the article writing schedule i'm looking to keep to is about one a week.

thought 42: i've been napping a lot lately, so i think i'll probably write about napping and post it tomorrow.

thought 41: making interactive digi-items is horrid, and so i shall retire and make popup books only from now on.

thought 40: whoever said programming was good and something adhd people could like is absolutely wrong, i only have the patience for python.

thought 39: this year i told myself that i would try working on a unity project but i have actually been really lazy when it comes to learning unity. man, programming is a drag.

thought 38: probably gonna work on another twine project soon, i have a lot of ideas for things i want to work on, i just need to pick a singular project.

thought 37: i talked about surprise trades (which i still engage in every day) but lately i've begun doing link trades with designated codes to connect with people who have version exclusive pokemon. for the most part the process has been smooth, but today i wasn't so lucky. the first person i connected with had the same pokemon (appletun) as me sadly, and that isn't a big deal because it's bound to happen. it isn't like i can filter trade so finely that i can only get people with the opposite version exclusive from mine, but the next thing that happened was very odd. i used the link trade code for trading appletuns and flapples, but the person i connected with tried to give me an espurr before they just disconnected. likely, what happened was that they had wanted to do a trade with a friend only so they had put a code on the link trade, but that code was the same as the designated code on online communities for trading appletuns and flapples.

thought 36: ever think about how delicious and beautiful water is? you should because it is spectacular indeed.

thought 35: i think every game should enable you to do random item trades. imagine playing a game only to trade off a meager health item and recieve a gem worth 6,000,000 gold. imagine playing a game only to trade off your level 100 gear and recieve a broken shield in return.

thought 34: finally, i'm feeling much better now so you can expect more website content for the upcoming week. this past week wasn't a great one as i seemed to have a head cold in the end. today was somewhat strange for me because my congestion went away, yet i kept having headaches earlier and well, i felt particularly saddened. however, you should now that i'm doing fine as of this evening.

thought 33: i've suffered from nasal congestion the past few days, it's terrible. i haven't gotten a full cold so i just think it's allergies, but even so it makes it difficult to write because it's distracting and uncomfortable.

thought 32: i think something that adds to how creators devalue their own efforts, is a fear of being percieved as greedy. i felt that too even though my game isn't even 5 dollars.

thought 31: so this january 2nd, i finally released my tabletop/analog game titled "BIG BUG." i have to say it was an interesting process polishing it up, and then preparing an page for it. i had experienced some doubts concerning it however. it's not as if i'm not confident in what i made, i just found myself conflicted when it came to deciding on the pricing. for the first few hours after i put it out, i had decided on going free, but with a pay what you want donation system because it was only four pages, right? i started to think about it though and i wondered if it's really so good to devalue my work like that, even though i would like it to be accessible to people. in the end i decided that i would set the pricing at $2.50, with community copies that can be downloaded for free for those who can't buy it, no questions asked. each time someone buys a copy, i'm going to add another community copy, so through buying the game people can help others access it as well in addition to supporting me. i think many creators go through this dilemma where they aren't so sure how exactly they want to monetize the things they make, if they want to at all.

thought 30: i bought pokemon shield and i have been playing it recently, i might write about the surprise trading mechanic in the future. i was actually planning to do it today on new year's eve but i changed my mind. my thoughts of the game? i've been having a good time with it, actually. examining how i feel about this game compared to how a lot of other people do just cements that despite me talking about games a lot, i'm actually not overly opinionated on rating games as definitively "good" or "bad." i just like examining and discussing games from the perspective of what kind of ideas they inspire within me.

thought 29: the tabletop game i'm working on is dice based, and it's about becoming the biggest bug you can. you roll to experience various events which contribute to your survival (or not surviving) and you can also grow based on these events.

thought 28: i had a fairly quiet christmas with pretty small gifts, i like christmas but i just don't tend to ask for as much as when i was a child.

thought 27: i've been staying up really late, lately. i need to stop and get some rest so i can wake up at good website updating hours. i really dislike sleeping in late because i feel as if though a large part of my day is gone.

thought 26: going to the dentist is a strange experience and teeth are strange. i'm feeling a bit inspired to make something about teeth.

thought 25: i think it's a good idea to update almost every other day if i can, but right now i'm actually trying to plan out some larger projects for the new year. i don't have anything too big planned right now for the website at the moment but that may change as i continue to brainstorm ideas outside of articles. i'm trying to make good use of the recycle bin in the meantime.

thought 24: i had some cranberry gingerale today, and yesterday. i used to really enjoy it more, but now i find it a little too sweet to drink a lot of. i still like it, but in moderation of course.

thought 23: after thinking about it some more, i've decided that i really like how the site's designed and i don't wanna change it for the new year. if anything i might do the occassional color change, but the site's layout will remain the same for a long time to come. i did a test run where i made the navigation bar seperate from the content and it wasn't really to my taste.

thought 22: after christmas, i might redesign the site a bit. i think the main thing i would do is make the navigation be in a bar at the very top of the page, instead of having it grouped with the content. i'm fine with everything else as is, but that change is something i'm still debating.

thought 21: i had a dream that i went on someone's website and they had a recycle bin where they dumped thoughts, like mine. i looked admirably at it and then i can't remember the rest of the dream.

thought 20: so strange how we can get so sleepy at times only to find ourselves wide awake minutes later.

thought 19: i wanna make a talkin' about article about something food-related. i just need to decide what to write about...

thought 18: earlier today i was just thinking about how much i dislike how corporations start to give us these sentimental ads around christmas. it really just feels like they're turning genuine forms of emotion into a device for marketing. it's like the quality of being caring was turned into a commodity at some point by corporate interests long ago. so weird (in a bad way).

thought 17: writing has really gotten weird for me. i know i kinda touched on this topic before in my writing article, but i'm still amazed i became an overwriting weirdo. i couldn't imagine it before, and it's something that's really been on my mind a lot lately.

thought 16: i feel like time is going by so fast this december, time is so strange.

thought 15: i'm in a pretty creative mood at the moment. i'm not sure what to make, but i feel like making something. i probably just feel like this because i finished that narrative twine earlier. it just feels nice to create and finish things, yknow?

thought 14: the twine game i was working on was becoming too complex for my liking, so i ditched it and started working on a smaller narrative twine that i'm gonna put on here instead.

thought 13: my site updates have been lighter for the past couple of days because i'm working on a small, holiday twine game that i'm hoping to finish soon.

thought 12: i had some berry punch today, i liked it.

thought 11: anyone remember that time when megaupload got seized by the fbi? i started thinking about it because i started thinking about what i would write about for a "talkin about: MUGEN" article. i remember a lot of resources being megaupload links.

thought 10: i was thinking of making a page with some digital christmas cards or something.

thought 9: the concept of "lost media" really fascinates me. the idea of commonplace content becoming elusive is one that i still find interesting, but it also really bothers me when i can't figure out a mystery so i find myself drawn in.

thought 8: did anyone have a rhythm games phase as a kid?

thought 7: sometimes i wonder if humans won't use spoken or written word anymore in the future, i find myself imagining a strange world where people communicate entirely telepathically occasionally. i don't have a particular desire for telepathic communication personally, but its just a part of this bigger idea i have where humanity evolves to have a "sixth sense".

thought 6: the concept of writing is so strange. it's all just arranged little symbols that make us curious, excited or even sad.

thought 5: it's funny what you can find on old usb drives. i found an old website concept with some images that i used for it, and i ended up repurposing them for pages on this website.

thought 4: i've been thinking of making a small simulation game. something about that genre of games is interesting to me. maybe it's just amusement at how games attempt to emulate some aspects of life.

thought 3: why did microsoft decide to make their os have a recycle bin instead of a trash bin. is it because a recycle bin sounds less scary to users? either way you're disposing of items, and nothing happens until you empty it anyway.

thought 2: this numbering system makes it sound as if these are my first thoughts ever in my lifetime. should have thought this through more.

thought 1: i was wondering earlier about a dream i had. it was a dream where my teeth were completely loose, so loose that a light touch could make them fall out. in this dream i remember i was just sitting leisurely and taking out all of my teeth. i wonder why my brain came up with this.

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