the recycle bin

thought 38: probably gonna work on another twine project soon, i have a lot of ideas for things i want to work on, i just need to pick a singular project.

thought 37: i talked about surprise trades (which i still engage in every day) but lately i've begun doing link trades with designated codes to connect with people who have version exclusive pokemon. for the most part the process has been smooth, but today i wasn't so lucky. the first person i connected with had the same pokemon (appletun) as me sadly, and that isn't a big deal because it's bound to happen. it isn't like i can filter trade so finely that i can only get people with the opposite version exclusive from mine, but the next thing that happened was very odd. i used the link trade code for trading appletuns and flapples, but the person i connected with tried to give me an espurr before they just disconnected. likely, what happened was that they had wanted to do a trade with a friend only so they had put a code on the link trade, but that code was the same as the designated code on online communities for trading appletuns and flapples.

thought 36: ever think about how delicious and beautiful water is? you should because it is spectacular indeed.

thought 35: i think every game should enable you to do random item trades. imagine playing a game only to trade off a meager health item and recieve a gem worth 6,000,000 gold. imagine playing a game only to trade off your level 100 gear and recieve a broken shield in return.

thought 34: finally, i'm feeling much better now so you can expect more website content for the upcoming week. this past week wasn't a great one as i seemed to have a head cold in the end. today was somewhat strange for me because my congestion went away, yet i kept having headaches earlier and well, i felt particularly dysphoric. maybe one day i'll write something about being trans, however that's difficult for me because i don't actually have any profound or interesting thoughts about gender really. however, you should now that i'm doing fine as of this evening.

thought 33: i've suffered from nasal congestion the past few days, it's terrible. i haven't gotten a full cold so i just think it's allergies, but even so it makes it difficult to write because it's distracting and uncomfortable.

thought 32: i think something that adds to how creators devalue their own efforts, is a fear of being percieved as greedy. i felt that too even though my game isn't even 5 dollars.

thought 31: so this january 2nd, i finally released my tabletop/analog game titled "BIG BUG." i have to say it was an interesting process polishing it up, and then preparing an itch.io page for it. i had experienced some doubts concerning it however. it's not as if i'm not confident in what i made, i just found myself conflicted when it came to deciding on the pricing. for the first few hours after i put it out, i had decided on going free, but with a pay what you want donation system because it was only four pages, right? i started to think about it though and i wondered if it's really so good to devalue my work like that, even though i would like it to be accessible to people. in the end i decided that i would set the pricing at $2.50, with community copies that can be downloaded for free for those who can't buy it, no questions asked. each time someone buys a copy, i'm going to add another community copy, so through buying the game people can help others access it as well in addition to supporting me. i think many creators go through this dilemma where they aren't so sure how exactly they want to monetize the things they make, if they want to at all.

thought 30: i bought pokemon shield and i have been playing it recently, i might write about the surprise trading mechanic in the future. i was actually planning to do it today on new year's eve but i changed my mind. my thoughts of the game? i've been having a good time with it, actually. examining how i feel about this game compared to how a lot of other people do just cements that despite me talking about games a lot, i'm actually not overly opinionated on rating games as definitively "good" or "bad." i just like examining and discussing games from the perspective of what kind of ideas they inspire within me.

thought 29: the tabletop game i'm working on is dice based, and it's about becoming the biggest bug you can. you roll to experience various events which contribute to your survival (or not surviving) and you can also grow based on these events.

thought 28: i had a fairly quiet christmas with pretty small gifts, i like christmas but i just don't tend to ask for as much as when i was a child.

thought 27: i've been staying up really late, lately. i need to stop and get some rest so i can wake up at good website updating hours. i really dislike sleeping in late because i feel as if though a large part of my day is gone.

thought 26: going to the dentist is a strange experience and teeth are strange. i'm feeling a bit inspired to make something about teeth.

thought 25: i think it's a good idea to update almost every other day if i can, but right now i'm actually trying to plan out some larger projects for the new year. i don't have anything too big planned right now for the website at the moment but that may change as i continue to brainstorm ideas outside of articles. i'm trying to make good use of the recycle bin in the meantime.

thought 24: i had some cranberry gingerale today, and yesterday. i used to really enjoy it more, but now i find it a little too sweet to drink a lot of. i still like it, but in moderation of course.

thought 23: after thinking about it some more, i've decided that i really like how the site's designed and i don't wanna change it for the new year. if anything i might do the occassional color change, but the site's layout will remain the same for a long time to come. i did a test run where i made the navigation bar seperate from the content and it wasn't really to my taste.

thought 22: after christmas, i might redesign the site a bit. i think the main thing i would do is make the navigation be in a bar at the very top of the page, instead of having it grouped with the content. i'm fine with everything else as is, but that change is something i'm still debating.

thought 21: i had a dream that i went on someone's website and they had a recycle bin where they dumped thoughts, like mine. i looked admirably at it and then i can't remember the rest of the dream.

thought 20: so strange how we can get so sleepy at times only to find ourselves wide awake minutes later.

thought 19: i wanna make a talkin' about article about something food-related. i just need to decide what to write about...

thought 18: earlier today i was just thinking about how much i dislike how corporations start to give us these sentimental ads around christmas. it really just feels like they're turning genuine forms of emotion into a device for marketing. it's like the quality of being caring was turned into a commodity at some point by corporate interests long ago. so weird (in a bad way).

thought 17: writing has really gotten weird for me. i know i kinda touched on this topic before in my writing article, but i'm still amazed i became an overwriting weirdo. i couldn't imagine it before, and it's something that's really been on my mind a lot lately.

thought 16: i feel like time is going by so fast this december, time is so strange.

thought 15: i'm in a pretty creative mood at the moment. i'm not sure what to make, but i feel like making something. i probably just feel like this because i finished that narrative twine earlier. it just feels nice to create and finish things, yknow?

thought 14: the twine game i was working on was becoming too complex for my liking, so i ditched it and started working on a smaller narrative twine that i'm gonna put on here instead.

thought 13: my site updates have been lighter for the past couple of days because i'm working on a small, holiday twine game that i'm hoping to finish soon.

thought 12: i had some berry punch today, i liked it.

thought 11: anyone remember that time when megaupload got seized by the fbi? i started thinking about it because i started thinking about what i would write about for a "talkin about: MUGEN" article. i remember a lot of resources being megaupload links.

thought 10: i was thinking of making a page with some digital christmas cards or something.

thought 9: the concept of "lost media" really fascinates me. the idea of commonplace content becoming elusive is one that i still find interesting, but it also really bothers me when i can't figure out a mystery so i find myself drawn in.

thought 8: did anyone have a rhythm games phase as a kid?

thought 7: sometimes i wonder if humans won't use spoken or written word anymore in the future, i find myself imagining a strange world where people communicate entirely telepathically occasionally. i don't have a particular desire for telepathic communication personally, but its just a part of this bigger idea i have where humanity evolves to have a "sixth sense".

thought 6: the concept of writing is so strange. it's all just arranged little symbols that make us curious, excited or even sad.

thought 5: it's funny what you can find on old usb drives. i found an old website concept with some images that i used for it, and i ended up repurposing them for pages on this website.

thought 4: i've been thinking of making a small simulation game. something about that genre of games is interesting to me. maybe it's just amusement at how games attempt to emulate some aspects of life.

thought 3: why did microsoft decide to make their os have a recycle bin instead of a trash bin. is it because a recycle bin sounds less scary to users? either way you're disposing of items, and nothing happens until you empty it anyway.

thought 2: this numbering system makes it sound as if these are my first thoughts ever in my lifetime. should have thought this through more.

thought 1: i was wondering earlier about a dream i had. it was a dream where my teeth were completely loose, so loose that a light touch could make them fall out. in this dream i remember i was just sitting leisurely and taking out all of my teeth. i wonder why my brain came up with this.

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